First written: Sunday, October 26, 2014
About three weeks ago I went to my friend's house for one of our little get togethers where I made quick use of the everclear before realizing my wallet was left in my car. As much as I'd like to be completely trusting of my friend's neighbors, I don't know any of them and my car (having a broken power window, yet again) is easily break in-able at this point. What happened next reminded me why it's always the drunk people in horror movies who are among the first to die. Spoiler alert: it's because we're dumb as hell.
After locating my wallet and locking up my car, I noticed that my friends complex is surrounded by woods and the road that leads past it goes through a little area with trees on both sides. A primarily dark, possibly unsafe for drunk people, short area with only one street lamp. For some reason I went crazy pagan that night and felt that the woods were 'calling me' and I had to heed the call...like you do. Perfectly reasonable response, really. Walking down the road, using my cellphone as my flashlight, I saw the silhouette of something that resembled a very large dog run out across the road and back into the woods. Now were I more sober this would have been the point where I did a heel turn and walked back to the apartment. Instead I stood frozen for a couple of seconds then exclaimed, "Puppy?!", and continued on intent on finding it.
At some point during my weaving I heard an actual dog barking further down. This excited Drunk Addy! Not only was there the prospect of one puppy, there was another, legitimate puppy somewhere up ahead. I also decided at some point, for reasons only known to me at the time, that there would most definitely be a bar in the neighborhood up ahead and I was going to go get a drink there because I was hella pretty and the general public should see me.
I'm pretty sure I scared some of the few drivers that drove by me as well. See, I was drunk enough to make some stupid decisions that would negatively impact my livelihood, but smart enough to at least try and enact some self preservation skills. Drunks are weird that way I find. One of those smart decisions was to stand at the edge of the road when I saw or heard a car. I was slightly paranoid of people I couldn't watch since it was just me all alone. I was weaving everywhere as well and I didn't feel like re enacting Frogger. So there I am dressed all in black like a good little goth, lace shrug slipping off my shoulders, green shadowed eyes wide open in what probably looked like fear while I clutched my worldly possessions to my chest and just stood and stared until the driver passed me by and I could continue.
After I cleared the woods I saw I was in a normal, residential neighborhood with a huge lack in imaginary bars. I remember this annoying me to the point where I forgot about any dog I had heard before. Looking around at my surroundings, I glimpsed a pair of eyes watching me from the edge of the road just outside the light from my cellphone. When I stepped closer they disappeared. It was then I decided perhaps we should just get the fuck out of dodge. I turned to go back and that's when I saw the second silhouette run across the road just beyond the streetlight. Only this time it went the other way into the woods.
...
"Puppy!" And thus the search was back on.
Here's where the actually creepy part of my long assed ramble comes in. I don't know if it was because this silhouette was larger than the rest, or maybe I was closer to it, but I got a better look at this one and I realized soon after that perhaps I didn't want to get very close to it. When I say these things looked like large dogs from a distance, I mean large. Despite this all around largeness to them they looked kind of thin. This latest silhouette in particular had an odd gauntness to it. It also looked like it shouldn't be running on all fours. I really hope you understand what I mean by that because I have no other way to explain it. It just looked wrong, it was way too hunched over. Piecing together all this new information I realized the whatever-it-was really reminded me of the way that other whatever-it-was moved from my experience on 'Rake Road'. What had started off as a fun drunk adventure was very quickly turning into my own personal horror movie. Needless to say, as soon as I entertained that thought I hightailed it back to the apartment complex I came from as fast as I could to the two friends that were searching the parking lot for me. I managed to talk them into going back down the road a bit to search for my elusive forest dogs, but they were much more sober than I was and neither of them wanted to meet something feral.
I never got to see what those things looked like up close so I could never confirm if they were just big, weird dogs or something else. A friend of mine later told me that the area I was in was known for having wild coyotes running around. I don't know how big a coyote is supposed to be so I can't really say anything about that. I do remember that's not the first time I've heard about coyote sightings though.
I have since been forbidden from drinking Everclear.
****
Bonus story: As if this wasn't long enough. To be quite honest I have a habit of cutting out a lot of my rambling and keeping things short so deal with it. This is one of those parts I cut out because I didn't know how to fit it in without it looking odd, or looking like I was going off on too many side notes/tangents.
On my way back to the apartment I got a call from one of my friends who was still inside. The conversation was as follows.
Val: Hi sweetie.
Me: Val!! How are you?
V: I'm good. By the way, where are you?
M: I'm out in the woods.
V: We have woods?
M: Yes, down the road I took to get to another neighborhood. Did you know there aren't any bars? It's bullshit!
V: Hon' this is a complex, they're not going to have any bars.
...
So some of us are looking for you.
M: Oh yeah, I'm on my way back. I keep seeing these weird...forest-dog creatures running in and out of the woods. At first I wanted to see what they looked like because I thought they were just dogs, but they run really wrong, Val. They're pretty big too and I'm getting creeped out so I'm just going to come back now.
V: Oh ok, that's good, well I'll see you when you get here.
Some of you reading may have noticed the distinct lack of concern my friend had. This did not go unnoticed by me either. I remember hanging up and looking at my phone for a bit, mulling over the conversation I just had before going, "...That's kind of fucked up."
Really intoxicated chick with a predisposition to being more curious than the cat that got killed for it? Large, possibly feral, dog looking creatures who "run weird" (that are living in a freaking forest no less)? Ehhhhhh...she's fiiiine.
They actually do love me, I promise.